"You weren’t perfect but you made life worth it. Stick around some real feelings might surface."
Look, no one is expecting you to lay your coat over a puddle anymore. But you do need to show a little chivalry if you want to survive the modern dating world. Here’s an updated gentleman’s guide to dating in 2014.
Then: Paying for Everything
Now: Pay for the dates you plan
I’ve heard everything from 100% to 50/50. The reality is that you should pay for the dates that you plan. And you should plan virtually all of them. Think of it as home court advantage.
Then: Ordering for her
Now: Give her suggestions. Let her order first.
The second you order for her, everyone in the restaurant will think you’re a chauvinist dick. Including your date. But if you’re a regular, you should know what’s good on the menu. She’ll appreciate a suggestion.
Then: Dinner and a movie
Now: Picnic at the beach
Dinner and a movie will set you back $100 and involves two hours of no talking. Lame. Instead, plan a meal. Make it ahead of time. And roll out the red blanket. Bonus points if you can take beach cruisers.
Then: Jeans with untucked button down
Now: Some style
The easiest way to tell a couple is on a first date is if the guy is wearing a button up and True Religion jeans. Instead, kick it up a notch and dress appropriately. Not in a uniform.
Full disclosure: I haven’t personally used either. But I love Tinder. It’s incredibly addicting and gets straight to the point. Anytime my buddy leaves his phone out, I’m on it. And it actually works. He’s gone on more than a few dates from it.
Then: You’re proud you’re her first
Now: You’re proud you’re better than all the other guys
If she tells you you’re her first, she’s trying to make you feel better. Want to know how many guys she’s slept with? Take her age, subtract 16, multiply by 3, add 9 for the college years and square it if she routinely orders a fourth martini. I’m joking but the point is that you’ve got competition. Don’t let it get to you. Instead, let it motivate you to be better.
Then: Preventing Facebook Recon
Now: Instagram, Tumblr, LinkedIn…
You know she’ll be checking you out ahead of your date. So lock down your sites. You need to control the flow of information. That doesn’t mean getting rid of all social media. Just monitor the who’s taking a look. A little mystery makes you more appealing.
Then: Next morning sneak out
Now: Next morning yoga
Only a totally asshole sneaks out. You’re not that guy. Instead, during dinner, ask her to do an early morning workout. That’ll get you both up and moving (or at least give you an excuse to leave). If you play your cards right, she’ll find it endearing.
Then: Introduce her to your family
Now: Introduce her to your dog
I love my family. But my dog might be the most important living thing in my life. And she’s scared of strangers. Before you invite a lady back to your place, think about what’s waiting at home.
Now: Flowers…They’ll never go out of style
Seriously. I’ve never met a girl who doesn’t like roses. I usually go for white ones. Red if its a special occasion. It’s the best $10 bucks you’ll spend.
Then: The first time you kiss
Now: The first time you hold hands
If you’re holding hands, a kiss is inevitable. But wait for the right moment and be prepared. That means no stuffing your hands in your pockets as you walk. The best moment is right after you make a joke and she’s laughing. Don’t second guess yourself. Just go for it.